That's so Wal-Mart

At the risk of sounding like a total snob, I have a few things to say about Wal-Mart. First, there are a certain type of people {only known as Wal-Mart people}, who somehow crawl out of somewhere, and you will never see them anywhere other than Wal-Mart. Seriously, I've seen things at Wal-Mart that I have never, or will never, ever see anywhere else. You can't make a trip there without coming away with some kind of story. If you stand in line to return something {please, please only do this when absolutely necessary}, there is a good chance you will be there among one or more of the following circumstances--seeing a person with toilet paper stuck to his/her shoes, fresh out of the bathroom; everybody in line impatiently waiting for the lady at the front, who instead of making her transaction is screaming at her daughter over her cell-phone, complete with "that's bull sh**" dialogue loud enough for the entire store to hear; the person behind you trying to make small talk about the new science kit they recieved for Christmas that just isn't that "scientific", snorting and saying "you know" after every sentence. If you stand in line to buy something you get one of two things: the cashier has a comment for each and every item you will be purchasing {that is so adorable, that looks yummy, oh I need to read that, I will have to get one of those etc etc}, or, at some point during the purchase he/she will not even notice as they say a cuss word. It's all like a very bad torture movie that you just can't get out of.

Second, Wal-Mart smells funny {no, it's not funny, it's totally gross}. The only thing I can come up with is that it is the people. I can't even explain the smell, but it's present each and every time, and it's always the same {unless it is a very potent, undisguisable odor coming directly from the person you are next to in line}. It's one of those smells that makes you seriously contemplate whether you should breathe out of your mouth or your nose {sure it smells bad to breathe out of your nose, but your mouth, well, the germs, oh, it's all bad}.

I know people who absolutely refuse to shop at Wal-Mart. No matter what, they would rather drive to Orem or Draper or somewhere totally inconvenient just because they can't allow themselves to make an appearance at the local Wal-Mart. I used to think they were crazy, but now, I wish I had it in me. I frequent the place about once a week {as painful as it is}. Their prices just can't be beat, and I'm a sucker for good deals. It's also very convenient because they have everything. I find myself going back over and over, even though each and every time I leave I swear it will be my last. I don't know, maybe I am one of those "Wal-Mart people" and nobody has told me yet....

Anyway, that was a very long way of getting to my point. My sisters and I were laughing and brainstorming what the new catch-phrase of '08 should be. When you see something totally hill-billy-ish, over the top laughable or downright dorky, my new blurb is "that's so Wal-Mart". Here's to making fun of people. ( I know, I'm terrible!)